Dont be scared its only like 10 hours of straight cookin n the fate of the holiday resting on u gettin it all cooked on time lmao no worries lol. imma run down a quick t day walk through of my usual line up so one day my boys can take over n i can just drink all day without cooking slowin me down lol. k well start the nite before n da cranberry sauce

we need. 18.oz fresh cranberries, 1.c sugar, 1/2.c water, 1/2.c orange juice and 1 ts. cinnimon. add all ingredients but berries to a pot n bring to boil then add berries n reduce heat to a simmer for 15 min till sauce thickens up n mash em up some then off to da fridge way better than canned now well get on them ballz

for chipped beef cheese balls we need 4 boxes of cream cheese, 8oz. shredded colby jack, 2 jars dried beef, 1 bunch green onions ,1 tbsp. worchester, a few shakes of onion n garlic powder and laweys salt. cut up yo onions n beef n mix all ingredients good n form a ball n good to go off to da fridge. n set yo alarm for 5:30 n da am n go to bed. gotta get on da ham early af lol

k this is da ham i get every year from alwans. its pre cooked n just needs brought up to a internal temp of 190° so ill put it n a electric roaster wit a few inches of water at 250° for bout 12 hours. pretty easy huh lol. just use a meat thermometer to check it evey few hours. i usually put it in at midnite the nite before n if we eat at 3 ill carve it round 1 n let it sit n roaster on low to stay warm. now on to da burd

super easy seriously. not much 2 it. just make sure its been in da fridge defrosting for at least 1 day per every 4 pounds or u screwed lol. so if its a big one give it a week n da fridge k well need a burd, roasting pan, reynalds turkey bag, butter, a few celery stalks, a few yellow onions, 1 ts. flour ,salt n pepper n a meat thermometer so u dont under or over cook it k. get your roaster pan n open a turkey bag. drop n flour n shake bag real good then lay it in da pan then peel a few onions n cut em into flat discs n place em flat n da bag along wit da celery to make a bed for da bird now get your turkey unwrapped n da sink n get out da neck n jiblet bag n save em n da fridge for da gravey later. then place yo burd breast side up into da bag n give it a good butter massage n hit it wit sum salt n pepper n use da twist ties from da bag box to tie bag closed n make sure all the bag is in da pan thwn put it all in a 350° oven for 3 hours n check temp every so often wit thermometer. n check deep like by leg joints cause the dark meat cooks slower. time varys on bird size but they cook fast in da bag n give u tons of juice for gravey makin. when bird reaches no lower than 170° everywhere its done. pull it out n let it rest 20 or more then puntcure the bag n drain juices into a big bowl n save to fridge till gravey time n carve up yo burd n put n a crock or roaster till ready to eat. i keep it simple cuzz lots to cook on t day but u can brine it overnite in a bucket of salt n sugar water for a juicy burd n deep fry another which i didnt get to do this year but ovens free now n meats are done n keepin warm. off to da side so tater peelin time

for mashed tatoes i use 20.lbs russet potatoes. 4.oz cream cheese, 4.c butter, 2.c milk n salt to taste n youll need a potatoe masher n peeler k. just get peelin the taters n cut em into 4ths n soak em n water to get out sum starches for boot a hour then bring em to a boil n a big ass pot of water n boil til soft. boot 30 to 40 min. then drain out water n add cream cheese n cover pot till cheese softens. then add butter n milk n salt n mash away till smooth n if theys not warm enough u can put em n da over. ill peel n soak em early n mourn then boil drain n mash boot a hour before we eatin so their pretty warm just keep a lid on em. on to da sweet potatoes

again 20 more pounds of taters lol but sweet ones. n 4.c butter, 4.c brown sugar, 1.ts vanilla extract, 1/2.ts cinnimon and nutmeg n 2.c maple syrup. k. peel n cut potatoes into round slices boot 1/4 inch thick. then in a pot bring all ingredients except potatoes to a boil n simmer to all is combines n saucy lol. then lay potatoes out n a big pan n cover wit sauce. then cover pan wit foil n put in a 350° oven for a hour or till fork tender. u may need to use a spatula n mix up a few time so all have sauce on em while cookin k off to da green bean cass

for da green bean cass i use 12 cans of french cut green beans, 3 big cans cream of mush, 1.tbsp soy sauce n 1/2.tbsp worchester sauce n ill cover half wit da crispy onion cuss sum dont like em. weirdos lmfao. k not rocket science. open beans n drain em all n a colliander then mix em wit da mush n add da soy n worchester n to save oven space n time ill put em n a crock pot til i need to cook da onions on em. so a few hours on high n crock then off to a pan and oven wit onions at 350° for 20min. next cheesy tatos

k for cheesy potatoes we need 3 reg sized bags of country cubed frozen hashbrowns. 2 16.oz bags of shredded cheddar cheese, 1 big can cream of chicken, 2 16.oz containers of sour cream, 2.c butter n 1/4 .ts. onion n garlic powder n 1/2.ts salt. n this one i do n a couple crock pots. just mix everything 2gether n a big ass bowl n divide into a few crocks on high for boot 4 hours or just put n a huge pan. cover wit foil n bake at 400° for bout a hour k still got way more to go lol. 7 layer salad

7 layer salad. but its prob got more than that lol. im not renamin it every damn year lol. k we need 1.lb cooked n crumbled bacon which ill do that the nite before n wrap it up. we need 3 heads off lettuce, 16.oz or more shredded colby jack cheese, i reg size jar of miricle whip which is the only time i go rouge from ma hellmans is for this salad lol, then 2 reg size bags frozen peas, 2 celery stalks, half a red onion, 1 bunch green onions and 1 green bell pepper. start by cuttin up da lettuce n putting it n a big pan then dice up da rest of da fresh veggies n mix em n add peas then start addin n mixing in mayo till it looks pretty well covered. then top wit cheese n bacon n off to da fridge till ready to eat. fewwwww… broccoli cheese n rice time

the sides neva end. k. for broccoli cheese rice cass well need 4.c cooked rice, half a block of velveta chopped up, 2 big cans cream of mush, 1.c milk, 2 bags frozen chopped broccoli, 1.c butter and 1/4.ts onion n garlic powder n 1/2.ts salt k n big pan mix all ingredients n cover wit foil n place n oven at 350° for bout a hour. stirrin a few times here n there to combine cheese as it melts. my hand hurts lol. k. off to sweet corn spoon bread cass

love this stuff. k for sweet corn spoon bread we need 4 boxes of jiffy corn bread mix, 4 cans sweet corn drained, 5 cans creamed corn, 4.c sour cream 1.c melted butter and 10 eggs. k break n whisk eggs in a large pan then add sour cream, butter n all the corns and finnally mix n the jiffy till everything mixed well n no dry powder left then off to a 350° oven. uncovered for a hour stirring every 15 min so it dont set up on top too much n stays more battery ish lol. mmhh now what. oh. imma phone this one n mac n cheese

heres da recipe mac n cheese. got off easy there. oh n heres another easy one for me lol. stove top

lol. stove tops one of only a few boxed things i love n i hate dryin bread n shit for homeade so i get a win win here. just make sure to use chic or turkey stock instead of water n go big or go home on da butter n finnally off to da gravey.

very last thing besides throwning a pan of pre made rolls in da oven is making that gravey ..soooo good k. get out da turkey juices u saved. which have celery, onion n butter flavor all in it from cookin wit da bird. n pour it all through a fine sive to remove any chunks n set aside n get out that bag of jiblets n. put em n a pan wit a bit of butter n fry em up till cooked thru. boot 10 min not to long. then remove em to da trash of man up n eat em lmao. dont. lol. k now add 1/2.c butter n melt it on med heat then add 1/2.c flour n mix til combined n a rux is forming. add more butter if to pastey. then add 1/2.c flour to bowl wit turkey juices n whisk n good then pour bowl into pan n whisk while bringing to a boil boil for 2 min n reduce heat to simmer till thickened u can start addin onion n garlic powder salt n pepper and poultry seasoning at this point. add more flour if its to runny but let it cool sum first this ration to flour, butter n juice is based on having 10 cups of juice from da burd so use less flour n butter if u dont have that much juice. cookin a 22lb burd n a oven bag gives u tons of it. that y i use da bag lol. k graveys done just adjust seasoning and i think thats all the usuall stuff i make so my boys gotta idea

ha. he has no idea lmao. sum day dude. sum day.